Saturday, January 26, 2008

On bad advice

My good friend Adelaine has recently written an entry about bad advice people give on relationships and I thought I might chip in my two cents to enlarge the circle of awareness toward the cancerous disease.

I totally agree with her that there are people out there who like to think that they are doing the world a favour by sharing their "wisdom", until some serious damage is done as a result of someone putting their advice into practice. They gain practically nothing out of giving the advice (perhaps other than the delusion that they've changed the world for the better), but it is the one who mistakes their folly for wisdom and applies it to real life who has to pay for it. How irresponsible.

Don't get me wrong if you think I'm against giving advice. I do it myself all the time. I'm only against giving stupid advice that are the variations of "if you're bored with your relationship, get married" or "if you're not satisfied with your marriage, have children." That's the kind of thing that pisses a sane man off. And for obvious reasons that apparently aren't obvious enough for some. If getting married could solve almost all relationship problems, the lawyers better start reconsidering their career options. And if having children is the answer to a failing marriage, why do the kids always end up in the psychologist's couch 20 years later?

Count your blessings if you've never come across people who freely offer such advice. But the next time you see them, do yourself a favour and run for your life the other way.

3 comments:

adelaine said...

ah my dear... CNY, will you be back in Kuching?

yesterday my dad said sumthing strange to me.. he said that he feels like he wants grandchildren and they're just so cute but he says he'll never pressure me or my brother to get married because should we be unhappily married, we'd blame him! he rather that we do what makes us happy..

oo.. my old man.. 3 cheers to him.

so i told him, i agree and asked him to get a dog if he's lonely.

adelaine said...

Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Tin Soldier said...

I will only be back in Kuching after CNY. Wasn't able to secure earlier tickets.

I can only say I've lost count of the number of times my mom repeated something similar to what your dad said. Kinda degrade us children as grandchildren-producing machines, these parents...

《我們青春的三言兩語》

他跟她是隔壁班 每當他出現在她的面前 她都愛靜觀他的一舉一動 然後幻想兩個人在一起的畫面 中學時期過了 當然兩個人也沒在一起 是他因為害怕而錯過了 二十年後 他們重遇在他的工作室 成了要好的朋友 她問他有沒有喜歡的人 他愣住了...