Men are really from Mars
I'm going to let all you ladies in on an age-old secret about men. Are you ready?...
MEN DON'T CRY.
There. Shocking isn't it? To think that all this time you've been suspecting that men were just acting tough. All your life you've actually been indoctrinated by all these subtle lies about men having tear glands like you do. While women might be the epitome of God's creation, men were actually emotion-free creatures plucked off the red soils of Mars and domesticated on the blue planet just so that women could get the answer they deserve every time they ask men, "Do you love me?".
Now I don't want to hear this argument that men have a whole different set of emotional triggers that move them to tears than women do. I'm telling you we don't cry. We can't. And we were never shown how. Some tried but none ever succeeded. Men cannot relate on an emotional level at all. We don't even see the point.
By the way, I think you know what's a standard men's answer to women's tireless question. Yes, you guessed it... "Define love."