Sunday, June 05, 2005

Confessions of a masculine heart

It is only obvious on a clear day. But I forgot that what I need from a woman is not what I often think I need: praises, admirations, such things that all men seem wanting of.

I need a woman who in spite of her lack of praise, could look me in the eyes and tell me the deepest truths about myself that she sees and I don't.

I need a woman who in spite of her blatant disapproval of my certain mannerisms, could still hope for the nobler things she knows I am capable of but never demonstrate.

I need a woman who in spite of her deep love for me, does not show it in a subordinate way, as if she's delighting in Michangelo or mesmerized by Shakespeare.

I need a woman who in spite of the world around her, finds joy in little things like children and the sunset.

I need a woman who could do all these as effortlessly and carelessly as stretching her own bones on a lazy afternoon. I need an equal on my best days, a superior the rest of the days.

I need a woman who got lost in the making. And I end up needing God.

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11 Comments:

Blogger exploding_hamster said...

that's beautiful.

June 08, 2005 10:41 PM  
Blogger Tin Soldier said...

Hi exploding hamster, cool name! Thanks for your comment... well you know what they say beauty is born of: heartache and pain.

June 09, 2005 1:47 AM  
Blogger exploding_hamster said...

The realization of the truth the moment you fall from grace is a hurt that I wouldn't be able to bear. I am not sure how others will be able to go through it, once they realized that yes, they made a mistake that could not be undone.

But I do love the prose, it's especially meaningful, at this point in my life.

For a man to realize all the above, takes a whole lot of courage, acceptance, and appreciation. I deserve someone like that. Everyone does. :)

June 09, 2005 8:54 PM  
Blogger fedelia said...

Thoughts of a femenine mind ....

I need a man, who will accept with an open heart and mind, when I look me in the eyes and tell him the deepest truths about himself that he does not sees, just yet, but I don't.

I need a man that will totally understand, or at least try to comprehend, my reasons for bringing up such topics, even when the risks of starting and argument is tremendous. I too have needs and dreams .....

I need a heart, greater than that of the largest space on earth, and stronger than any metal that can be found, to be able to store all my feelings and thoughts, good and bad, and always continue to hope for the nobler things that my man is capable of but chooses not to demonstrate.

I need a mind that is capable, yet to the extent of never querying the thoughts and actions of my man, especially as to why he choose to show, do and feel all in the direction different to that which I have so greatly tried to make him understand .....

It is an uphill task to please a man, even tougher to compliment him .....

I need great will power, strong enough to journey on, I need my heart, I need my mind ...

I end up, needing only myself ...

June 09, 2005 10:00 PM  
Blogger Tin Soldier said...

EH: It's quite a surprise and a great honor to learn that my trifling ventilations have meant something to you. You have encouraged me to keep pestering the world with misery-filled poetry!

Lia-Lia: I hope I hadn't started a vicious cycle...

June 10, 2005 3:49 AM  
Blogger fedelia said...

Hi Tin Soldier, no fear, just some ramblings from one that has been very "priviledged" to have found "the right one" at a very young age.

Understand your frustration in the "search". However, am just sharing with you another side of the coin, hardly seen by most men, as women choose never to revealed such feelings to anyone! :)

Don't get me wrong, my writing could have been a little exaggerated, but like my mom told me once some 9 years ago "A relationship, especially a marriage is real hard work!" Then I was madly in love, and almost retorted "Coz there is no love in urs!"

Today, I am very glad those words never escaped my mouth, coz indeed, relationship is almost equal to hardwork, but there are rewarding aspects of it.

Life takes twists, turns and sometimes swerves in a direction least expected. You never know when you will actually come across your 'right one"!!! Don't despair yeah!!

June 10, 2005 10:47 AM  
Blogger Tin Soldier said...

I must agree with you that love is indeed hard work. Ashamed to say that I have naively bought into the "love is all we need" outlook. But despair I will not, for nothing opens the eyes and rouses the mind like a good old, truthful slap in the face!

June 11, 2005 3:20 AM  
Blogger *adelaine said...

hahahha i love this:

I need a woman who got lost in the making. And I end up needing God.


i guess God is much much more easier to love than mortals, TS.

but yes she got lost in the making, so did lia lia's dream man..

but there are women like that.. only in this world we called her a simpleton that is too infatuated to know better.. and she of the kind heart is nearly always often ill used..

life is cruel.

June 21, 2005 1:28 PM  
Blogger Tin Soldier said...

I've often suspected that God made man and woman so that they might consider loving Him eventually when they found out that the other person is lovable but not livable.

Life is a manifestation of a divine conspiracy.

June 21, 2005 9:42 PM  
Blogger exploding_hamster said...

*SLAP*

better?

heehee! :)

June 24, 2005 5:34 PM  
Blogger Tin Soldier said...

...anyone seen my left eye??

June 24, 2005 7:10 PM  

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