Don't want to be nice
Everyone thinks you're nice...
They are not just being polite. You can't help but think that they just might be right. But you never aspired to be such things. You wanted to be -
Wild!... like Him.
"Have I got what it takes?" that's the question you're asking. That's the question every man asks. Everything you've ever done - every risk you've ever taken - was done with the intention to have an answer.
You long for the day when you know your God-like strength, courage, and wildness. To be called a warrior as He was known to the Israelites by the Red Sea. To stand up for something and fight to your last breath. Tell a man anything else, you kill the man.
You haven't found your answer. That's why you're still nice, friendly, and kind.