A writing to B (III)
Thank you for your prayers. Day 1 and my head's still above water. I chose and recited the whole book of Solomon's Song last night before going to bed and it was a thrilling experience for me.
I had planned to do one of two things today to glorify God: visit the sick in the hospitals or visit the city prison near my house. I ended up going to the prison but only made it to the gates. I stalled because I was afraid. Who am I supposed to visit? What am I supposed to say? What reactions would I get from the guards and the inmates? After what seemed like half an hour of hesitation I turned around and took off to drive around town. I went back to the prison thinking of giving it a second shot. I couldn't make it then either, so I went straight home.
But you know what's astounding? After my failure to go beyond the prison gates I came away feeling all the more loved by God. I have always thought that God's holding Himself back from me because of my failures to live up to His expectations. Now I can see that that's not true. The pressure's off indeed! And I'm going back to the prison next week to try again - simply because I know it'd be something that will bring Him glory. But before next Sunday comes I'll be on the lookout for little ways to glorify Him throughout the week. I pray for the same for you.
Your joyful brother,