Just as well I'm leaving

Melbourne really isn't the charming place to start over with a clean slate as I thought she would be. Not that I've accumulated too much snow on my slate to need cleaning, but the idea of starting life in a city totally unfamiliar was initially appealing and, I'm shameless to say, quite adventurous. Six months have passed since the move to Melbourne and the transient sense of excitement in the beginning has quickly been replaced by ruts of daily routines.

It's not that Melbourne fail to accommodate the life I was expecting when I first set foot here. You felt like a wide-eyed tourist in the first two months, but as soon as you make a new city your home, the charm that fills a tourist's holiday disappears and you quickly give up the artist's stroll for the express line, aimless people-watching for break-time gym programs slotted in between ferocious 24-hour rotating shifts. Instead of adventures, Melbourne threw me the exact same things I abandoned in the old life - only on a larger scale. So you start to long for adventures in some distant land across the seas.

Though it happened quickly, it didn't happen by accident. I believe somewhere along the way I gave Melbourne permission to slip the hamster wheel under my feet. More than ever, this is the time when I find myself relating to Hans Christian Andersen the most as he wrote in 1840, "It's just as well I'm leaving; my soul is unwell."

But where? It's one thing to entertain the thought of running off to some remote corner of the world on a moment's whim, and quite another to actually take leave from your daily cares and stand under the giant flapping schedule board in a train station picking a destination. And then there is the piled-up bills on the desk and the distant but distinct voices of well-meaning friends and parents who beg you not to throw away your senses for something so illusive and selfish. Deep down you fear that they might just be right. After all you can't even put a name to this unreasonable urge to "take it to the winds."

It's just as well I'm leaving; my soul is unwell. The desire to run off will not quit until the wayfarer recognizes his signpost and heads down the path that nurse his ache of standing still.

The sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.

- Blaise Pascal

A musing on St. Valentine's Day

This is a day in the year that is suffered either in silence or months in advance and, if the night pays off, days after. People who have a conscious cause for Valentine's, usually in the form of someone special, often see themselves planning and preparing for the execution weeks or months ahead (depending on the extent of the person's affection and, in this commercial day and age, budget). This is the kind of people, specifically men, who resolve to condense in one day what they should have been expected to perform the whole year through but couldn't find it in their genes to do: getting her flowers, opening door to restaurant and car, staring across the table with an undivided attention. It's become a day when the guys would say, "Here's what you've been pestering me to do all year... lucky I only have to do it once!" The fact that we need to declare a romantic day to commemorate a history of none of these is ironic and a telling indication of our (specifically the ladies') lowered expectations.

It might seem unfair to the blokes to dispense such a criticism, as if the sole obligation of the day and, in fact, of the whole relationship, lies with us. But since when hasn't that been so down through history from as early as, or maybe even before, the Middle Ages? The warring brutes back then couldn't pick up a fork in the court and the educated scribes would rather spoon their eyeballs than face the battlefields. But it was a special class of men - the literal knights - who were expected to do both with equal courage and grace. Contrary to what we believe, the term "knight in shining armour" is not used loosely nowadays, nor should it be referred to as just a metaphor. The reason why most men today can only put on real acts of chivalry one day in a year (though not a complete act at that, since it often only display the "meek in halls" quality but seldom the "fierce in battles" trait) is because they've mistaken it as a silly idea that only the ladies fancy. We think it's fake because it's unnatural. But as Lewis puts it, "The man who combines both characters - the knight - is a work not of nature but of art; of that art which has human beings, instead of canvas or marble, for its medium." And as Lewis knows best, any true art needs to be attained and strived for.

Thinking about thinking

I was happy today. At least for a brief moment. Four months into my job and I'm stuck with it. It's not the best job in the world but it does more than paying the bills. It makes putting off thinking about the future possible... even in abstract.

But wait a sec... Why do we think about the future anyway? Especially when it never turns out the way we expected?

That's exactly my point... Let's think about it for a sec... How does it work, this business of "thinking about the future"? What's the step-by-step breakdown of this mental exercise? We close our eyes, right? We take a deep breath and concentrate real hard, right? We could lock our brows if it helps while keeping our eyes closed, and try to think forward to a point in the future where... no, wait... we can't do that!

No siree, we could never think about the future. In order to think about the future we need something concrete that is in fact in the future for us to think about. It assumes possession of a definite knowledge of the future, which we don't have. It's a humanly impossible task unless we possess the omniscience of God or a late-night TV psychic.

If we can't really think about the future, why have we heard so many people, including ourselves, talked about it like it's a natural thing to do? We say we "think about the future a lot." Sometimes we even offer it as an advice for others to "start thinking about the future." But the most honest among which has to be, "I can't see my future." Which is not a depressing thing to say, but in fact the only true thing one can say about the subject.

I can't see my future, even as I try very hard. It's time I stop trying to do the impossible. We can't think about the future. We can only live toward it, moment by moment.

Resolutions 2007

It's one of those times again--to review past year's resolutions and make new ones. For someone who's only started making new year's resolutions, I'm pretty glad that I've achieved about half of 2006's resolutions. I'm now the proud sponsor of not 1, not 2, but 3 children in Tanzania and Colombia with the support and encouragement of closed ones. However I missed the opportunity to fulfill resolution 2, which is to visit prison inmates, due to two major relocations in 2006. And as far as advocating for truth goes, I still need a lot more work as well as courage to achieve.

A recap of some personal highlights in 2006:


Sponsored Hamisi from Tanzania in January.











Visited Hong Kong and Shenzhen in February.















Sponsored Daniel and Maycol from Colombia in February.










Left a two-year career in pharmaceuticals in March.


Moved to Australia in April.


Relocated to Melbourne in August.















Found a perfect nest in the city fringe in August.


Found a new job in October.


A long-standing dream was shattered in October.


Got a new speaker for my birthday in November.


Fell in love with Mini Cooper in November.














Found and read David Mamet's True and False in December.


Had Christmas Eve dinner with Aaron & Grace at our own house.















Got a webcam and a wireless keyboard as my Christmas presents.


Watched New Year's Eve fireworks by the Yarra with my mates.

















All in all, a good year. Now on to 2007's resolutions:

1. Continue to support Hamisi, Daniel, and Maycol throughout 2007.
2. Start a novel.
3. Go to an undetermined destination for a week.
   

Compassion committed to integrity

Charity Navigator, one of the world's leading financial accountability organizations, awarded Compassion its highest ranking—4 stars—for the fifth year in a row. Only 1 percent of the more than 5,000 charities they rate have achieved this accomplishment in financial integrity.

It is easy to get bogged down in the statistics of poverty. Each year an estimated 33 million children are born without any hope for a future. Thirty percent of children worldwide suffer from malnutrition. Nineteen percent have no access to clean water. Seventeen percent will never go to school. And the most sobering statictic of all—30,000 children under the age of 15 die each day.^**

These statistics are overwhelming, but at Compassion statistics don't matter as much as children do. In order to win this battle against poverty, Compassion strive for excellence in all areas of their ministry. In the past year, more than 135,000 children were registered in Compassion's Child Sponsorship Program. Here are some other milestones accomplished this year:

• Worldwide sponsorship grew by 13 percent, bringing the year-end total of child sponsors to 689,086.
  
  
• Total revenues were up by more than 18 percent over the previous year, enabling Compassion to serve more children than ever before.
  
  
• Compassion's Leadership Development Program helped 1,017 promising young leaders with their college education and offered these young people Christian leadership training.
  
  
• The Child Survival Program (CSP) rescued, nurtured and discipled more than 4,000 of the world's youngest, most vulnerable children and their caregivers. In the next year, Compassion plans to open 106 more CSP projects, bringing the total number to 172.

Read about the story of Emmanuel, Ghana's first sponsored child.


**Statistics from UNICEF's The State of the World's Children 2006

Soft opening of Jackie's Favourite Asian Cuisine

My dear friend and housemate Amazing Grace reviewed a new restaurant in the CBD we patronized last night called Jackie's—namesake of the martial arts superstar Jackie Chan. According to research done by Aaronwe the Melbourne restaurant is the latest addition to the celebrity's international restaurant chain. While we did not expect Jackie himself to turn up at our table and make suggestions from the wine list, after the meal I figured that for the price they charge, the food falls short of the buildup, although the service was great and the ambience acceptable. Anyone looking to catch a glimpse of Jackie in Melbourne might also be disappointed as according to the captain, the actor is not likely to turn up on the restaurant's November/December grand opening.

Pros: Great ambience, great and courteous service.

Cons: Average food leaning more towards a fusion/westernized menu rather than authentic Asian cuisine.

Jackie's is open for lunch Monday to Friday from 11:30 am to 3:00pm. Dinner is from 6:00 pm to 10:00 pm on all days except Fridays and Saturdays, which is open until 11:00 pm. Location: Near corner of Elizabeth and La Trobe Streets (Melway 1A H1). Reservations: (03) 9606 0055

Introducing Daniel and Maycol

Daniel and Maycol came into my life when I decided to support two other children with Compassion after Hamisi.

Both Daniel and Maycol are from Colombia, a country where drug trafficking is a serious problem. Common health problems in Daniel and Maycol's areas include respiratory disorders, bronchitis, and malnutrition.

Daniel lives with his father and mother. His father is employed and his mother maintains the home. There are two children in the family and Daniel is responsible for cleaning around the house. Playing with toy cars, playing ball games and reading are Daniel's favourite activites. Daniel's performance in school is average and he also regularly attends church activities.

Maycol makes his home with his father and mother. Making beds, running errands and cleaning are his household duties. His father is employed and his mother is sometimes employed. There are two children in the family. As part of Compassion's ministry, Maycol participates in Bible class. He is also in kindergarten where his performance is above average. Soccer, playing with cars and bicycling are Maycol's favourite activites.


Boring plaster

I received a letter from Maycol this week and among other things he told me he fell down on the street in June and had a heavy cast on his left arm which was boring! Months usually pass before the letters get translated, forwarded, and delivered. I wish it hadn't been so long before I got the news, and it'd be another 3 months or so before my words could reach back to Maycol. But being able to exchange letters with him and the other boys several times a year does foster a closer bond between us. I have yet to hear about other child sponsorship programs that makes it as special as Compassion does.