Not quite dead yet
You just realized that some of the things you write are better left to yourself. Your restraint from explaining yourself is repeatedly causing friends to suspect tendencies toward the depressive and suicidal. But then again is death really all that scary?
Someone affirmed to you once: Death is the scariest thing of all.
But you honestly thought that you were going to die... Nah - you weren't even close. Why, the self is always hard to kill.
And no, death is not the scariest thing of all... Hopelessness is.