"Pepi's Dress"

Pepi lost his favorite coat,
In which he kept his secret.
He took his apprentice by the throat
And almost blocked his gullet.

"¿Dónde está mi chaqueta?" Pepi shouted,
Not ready to loosen his hold.
For his virtue Pepi deeply doubted,
And he feared the coat had been sold.

"Perdóneme, profesor," came the weak reply,
"On my mother's grave an oath I pay,
And to you I dare not lie,
But your missus gave it away!"

So Pepi ran to the marketplace
With half a head and all seriousness.
He sought till he was red in the face
And couldn't find his beloved dress.

Then came a beggar with one glass eye
Asking Pepi to buy him a cena,
And Pepi noticed under his tattered bow tie
The velvety fabric of his chaqueta!

"¡Ay, caramba!" Pepi roared,
"¿Donde tu encontró esto?"
And the coat he at once restored
Without spending a single peso!

"No-man wants it, no-man loses -
En los desperdicios de un hombre rico.
A poor man gathers if he chooses,
And I should've hidden it under my pillow!"

For earlier today when Pepi was away
His wife had opened his bottom drawer.
She found in said coat a huge dossier
Of shameless letters from a whore!