Friday, February 08, 2008

The lazybone-paranoid's guide to living alone (Part 2)

  1. Check your mailbox daily to avoid important letters being left out in the weather. Getting rid of spams could leave an impression of constant activity around the house. Overfilled/unattended bins do the opposite.
  2. When you're out having fun, leave a light on where it can easily be seen from the street. Give a spare key to a trusted friend or the designated driver.
  3. Bolt the door first thing when you get into the house, even if it's likely that you'll leave the house later in the evening. Plans could change and it's common for friends to stand each other up.
  4. Always put emergency calls on the top of your phone's speed dial.
  5. If you're getting picked up by a taxi from home, always give your next-door neighbour's address and wait outside their house.
  6. If you live in a townhouse or ground-level apartment, shut all windows save those in your bedroom before going to bed.
  7. When walking home, circle around the block twice if you suspect stalker activity. If it's after dark, pretend to call a friend and that you're expecting them at home. Ask something like how far away they are so that the person you suspect can hear you. If needed, pretend to repeat your mate's reply that they're there already and say you're just a minute away.
  8. Assign a wash day for whites and another for colours. 'Nuff said.
  9. Unless you have a dryer, wash your favourite work clothes on Friday night to make room for bad weather over the weekend.
  10. Stock up the pantry on candy/muesli bars and always keep a couple in the bag as rations.

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